That.was.not.her.issue. That's not what Jesus called her on the carpet for. (Though, no doubt, I bet she had nice vacuum stripes on her carpet.)
I'm really just a little fed up with everyone using it as a platform to judge people who (1) like having a clean house and (2) are kind of good at keeping a clean house.
To be fair, both sides of the Mary v. Martha tend to be a little judgey. But let's review a few reasons you might have a sloppy house, and a few reasons you might have a super-clean house, and a few reasons that your house might be in any condition at all.
Disclaimer: these are not exhaustive lists, nor do they claim to be definitive. If you feel defensive or have your feelings hurt by these lists, that's not my intent. If you plow into this choosing to take it that way anyway, just stop reading now, please.
Reasons Your House Might Be Super Clean
1. you don't have any kids.
2. you are a control freak. so it's kind of a personality flaw, really.
3. you don't have anything better to do than clean
4. you don't have any causes to support with your money other than paying a housekeeper to clean. and if that's the case, can I be one of your causes and spare you a housekeeper? you can send your money to me.
5. your mother scarred you for life because she was super clean and it's psychologically tied to a need for acceptance and approval. do you clean your electrical outlets with Q-tips? this is probably the reason.
Reasons Your House Might Be Better Showcased on 'Hoarders'
1. you have kids.
2. you don't have a good sense about how to sort, organize, and throw away junk, even if you like the idea of being tidy. (totally legit.)
3. you look for other things to do because your house makes you feel like a failure.
4. your mother didn't teach you how to pick up your crap. either because she picked up your crap for you, or she didn't pick up her crap, either.
5. you are lazy. also a personality flaw.
6. you are one of those creative people who need clutter in order to function. not so much a personality flaw, but I sure don't understand it. OR you are a creative person who needs all of your craft stuff (like, every bit of it. even for Unknown Crafts of the Future) spread out all the time right in front of your face. have you ever said, "don't throw that away, I want to use it for a craft?" and not had either (1) a legitimate, specific craft in mind or (2) a legitimate, specific time frame to make said craft? this is you.
Reasons Your House Might Be Somewhere In Between These Extremes:
1. you like the idea of tidy, and you have generally decent ways to go about keeping it that way.
2. personality quality: you realize nothing is perfect, but stay somewhat disciplined with a good measure of grace for where stuff just falls through the cracks. or spills through the cracks. and dries there and ends up sticky and then you find it a month later because right when you were about to clean it up right away your kid walked in the door carrying a fuzzy glob of something that smells like poop or a dead animal or both. yes. lots of grace for that.
3. sometimes your house may be pretty clean and other times it may be pretty junky, but you inevitably end up plateauing somewhere in the middle.
The reason my last list only consists of 3 reasons is that it borrows reasons from the other 2 lists based on the individual. Make sense? Good.
So this is where I need to state that I am a little picky about my kids' toys and MISSING PIECES. Oh my gosh. Missing pieces make.me.crazy. My
The other night, I was squawking about this to my mom because I mentioned one of our Strawberry Shortcake girls had gone MIA.
Seen her? Orange Blossom, about 3 inches tall. McDonald's Happy Meal toy from September 2010. Yeah. GONE. Mom looked at me like I had three heads.
"Well, honey," she said, all patronizing like. "Let's say you have six. Just let the girls play with the other five- - "
"We have TWELVE, Mom. Twelve. Six from both rounds of happy meal toys. And yes, they play with the other eleven. But I want to find THAT ONE because it's a MISSING PIECE and MISSING PIECES AREN'T FUN."
Seriously. Why don't they get this?
"It's just a missing toy," she said.
"IT'S A MISSING PIECE, MOM." Sometimes when I get upset I have to speak in all-caps, like maybe I'll be understood that way. "MISSING PIECES AREN'T FUN."
I picked up a Barbie doll at the table.
"This, this right here?" - and I snapped off the head - "This isn't fun any more."
|not a fun thing.|
"See this? This horse? This isn't fun. It only has one foot."
She cut me off. "Nope. Your 3-year-old had fun with it," she said. "See right there?"
She pointed at about eighty little tap marks INDENTED INTO HER TABLETOP where my maniac-named-Scout had pounded it repeatedly.
"Good. Good, Mom. That's just great. My kid is destroying your table. Also, she's insane. AND, if that were a real-live horse with only one foot, they would shoot it. A dead horse IS NOT FUN."
|not a fun thing. unless you're 3.|
"I just want to find that Orange Blossom," I said. "I don't know why people feel like once you start counting pieces or keep track of your toys that you're crazy for having a tidy house. It's like that's the platform they use to make themselves feel better about being a slob, maybe." And then I said that funny thing about people judging Martha, and my mom laughed some more. Then she tried to do this thing that was just so sentimental it made me want to puke. I may have openly rolled my eyes at her. She was still laughing. But she was showing me all the marks and scars on her table that have come from people living real life and putting knicks and dings in stuff and how it's just stuff and doesn't last but she's thankful for all those memories BLAH BLAH BLAH.
I really love my mom. Also, I really want to find that missing Orange Blossom. Also, it'd be nice if we all could just cut Martha a little bit of slack and quit judging her for having a clean house.